Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Thursday, December 15, 2011

Join the Army. Get an Education (Part Two)

A guest Post by Erik Tolley

Infantry
In the infantry, you will be subject to many different forms of violent death, such as getting shot, stabbed, burned, shredded and eating field rations more than twice a day.
The sad thing is, these will all be inflicted by your own troops.
I won't even mention what the enemy will do to you.
Basically, you will be a moving target, which is a lot more fun than a paper target, but a lot harder to patch up afterwards.
You will also get to freeze, starve, sweat, stink, roast, and stay up long enough that you will begin to hallucinate about giant pink bunnies running circles around you singing songs from 'Lion King'.

Engineers
In the Engineers, you will get to do almost all the same things as in the Infantry, but you will also get to play with explosives.
EXPLOSIVES.
Powerful explosives.
At least your targets are made out of something stronger than paper.
Unfortunately, the pink bunnies now hum the tune to 'Star Wars'.

Armoured
In the Armoured trade, you will be able to drive and service large, cool-looking vehicles, often fitted with big guns that make loud noises and wake up the Infantry and the Engineers, if they happen to be asleep, which seems unlikely.
You will also be able to go places that no other vehicle can go, and get stuck in places that no other vehicle could even reach.
Then you send for the Infantry and the Engineers, who are conveniently awake, to come and dig you out, while you sit and play cards.

Artillery
In the Artillery, you will get to shoot big guns.
If anyone in the Artillery is reading this, please call me and let me know what else you guys do, because there are a lot of people who really want to know.

These are the trades known as the Combat Arms trades. I don't know why they are called this, because practically everyone's arms can be used as weapons.
Oh, well.
I guess that's why I'm in the Army.
If I knew, I'd probably be smart enough to still be a civilian.

5 comments:

  1. The bunnies are hallucinations? Oh.......

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a wonderful 'guest post'! Eric sounds like quite the unique fella.

    I certainly enjoyed the read here today!

    Ya'll have a blessed and beautiful day! :o)

    ReplyDelete
  3. The bunnies are the commissioned officers...

    ReplyDelete
  4. thanks for the article.
    I always hate it when the young men go into battle mode.
    They have a life and are meant to live it, not die or be tortured somewhere.
    We raise beautiful children and then give them up for any one to do anything with.
    I think old people should go to fight first cause if they did I am sure there would be less wars.
    lol
    Have to say Cdns are proud of our boys in uniform. Joining the armed forces is one of the most self less things to do.
    I remember the army came to our high school and I myself thought about joining but then I thought maybe they didn't want girls lol
    I don't think they had wars then.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My grandpa on mom's side served in France in World War I as part of the U.S. Engineers. My three brothers all started off in the Armoured division drinving around and training in tanks. They all got to serve oversees. The scariest place was in Bosnia, but they also (between the three of them) went to Cyprus and Israel. The oldest re-mustered into military police which has included a 4 year posting in the Beijing Embassy in China. My middle brother got out after 20 years and has since returned. He helps to train soldiers for combat. My youngest brother got out earlier than that but has still helped out with warfare training, his specialty is the technology they now use. On a side note my only sister has served as a customs border officer for years now. It's all in the family, lol.

    ReplyDelete

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