Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Join the Army. Get an Education

Superik to the rescue
Drawn by Erik in Grade Nine
During Math class.
Don't ask.
Guest Post by Erik Tolley

Upon first sight, the army looks real cool.
The recruiting posters depict big, brawny, attractive soldiers (and strong, beautiful women soldiers, too) all dressed up in their warpaint and carrying automatic weapons and squelching about in the mud as if they're doing something constructive and enjoying it, too.
The posters usually include some sort of catch phrase like "Join the Army  - See the World" and "Be a Part of the Armed Forces, and You Could Look Like One of These Attractive Young Soldiers, Instead of the Lumpy, Greasy, Smelly, Disgusting Couch Potato You Are", which usually makes you want to improve your lifestyle by joining the army and squelching about in the mud, wearing warpaint and carrying an automatic weapon.
Unfortunately, the thought that mud, grease, and gunpowder don't necessarily improve you lifestyle all that much usually doesn't occur to people until after they're actually in the army.
This is why most civilians think that soldiers are idiots.
They are.
I can speak from experience on this one.
I'm an idiot and I'm in the army.
Enough said.
I first decided to join when I saw an ad in the newspaper. If I hadn't seen it, I might have gone on to lead a normal productive life. I might even have been a manager at an A & W restaurant by now. (A management position at McDonald's being too ambitious for me).
But such was not my destiny.
Oh, well.
When you first go into the recruiting center, they ask you what trade you were thinking of.
At this point, you blurt out whatever first comes into your head, because the only part of the army that you've ever heard of is the Infantry, and you don't want to stand there looking like an indecisive idiot while the paperwork-person stares at you.
So, you say Infantry.
Fortunately, the paperwork-person has seen dozens of morons like you every day since he or she joined the army, and he or she will give you a cute little pamphlet with another attractive picture and catchy slogan on the front, which outlines the basics of all the different trades in the army.
This will help you to decide better what you want to be, otherwise the army would be made up thousands of Infantry soldiers, and one clerk named Homer.
Strangely, this little pamphlet doesn't point out the actual tasks that you would be forced to carry out in an actual war zone, such as getting shot and tortured.
For clarity, I have provided you with a little more information that will be invaluable in determining which trade to choose, or rather, which trades to avoid.
To be Continued . . .

7 comments:

  1. Imagine, manager of an A and W....I think he could have handled MCDonalds if he really tried. Actually, I think he's missed his calling. He should be a stand up comic.

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol
    not easy .
    People join to get educated and to stay at home. Not go to war.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey, Superic. Nice. I think you're an acorn pretty close to the tree. Looking forward to more.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Reading this I think I'm going to try out for manager of the local lunch wagon. Give up my mechanical career.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My father was in the military for thirty years and every time we passed a recruitment office and he saw a young man saunter in, he'd say, "Poor guy." Having been to Vietnam twice and taken part in fight in Korea, I believed my old man knew what he was talking about. Now when I hear that a young person I know has joined the military I feel great admiration but also great compassion at the trials that I know await him or her.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I signed up because other job opportunities weren't happening. My Mom and Dad were both in the Air Force when they met so it seemed like a good idea. It was. I have no regrets. I thought I might not make the 5 year commitment in the junior ranks, maybe only a year. But it was worth trying. Being patriotic and all. I stayed almost three years.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I signed up because other job opportunities weren't happening. My Mom and Dad were both in the Air Force when they met so it seemed like a good idea. It was. I have no regrets. I thought I might not make the 5 year commitment in the junior ranks, maybe only a year. But it was worth trying. Being patriotic and all. I stayed almost three years.

    ReplyDelete

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